where am i from again
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
