She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he thought i was a dude.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
