Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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