My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
