Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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