Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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