My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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