You really coming over, don't trick.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
