I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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