I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
