you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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