i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
