lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
