I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
