she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
