I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
