I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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