you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
