The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
