Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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