the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
