Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
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