thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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