so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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