windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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