I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
