and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
