My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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