I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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