put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
