Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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