I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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