nut hugger
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
