I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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