I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
