Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
