I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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