I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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