just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
