Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
