Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
