Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
