I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
