Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Shame is for Republicans.
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