So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
