So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
