Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
