i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
