Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
