well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
