The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
