Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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